When I'm asked what led me to become a therapist - and I am asked this a lot - there is a long answer and a short answer.
The long answer: Let's grab coffee and we'll swap life stories.
The short answer: I can't find anything on the planet more interesting than the human mind. And I can't think of anything on the planet more creative or helpful to do with my time here than to interact with human minds in a way that promotes their own health. To discover the complexities within, to bask in the mind's holy creation and broken rendering, to behold the finest work of Him and to help that work be a little less distressed by this world.
It is my art, my science, my symphony, my life's work.
And it makes me a better person.
I am currently reading a book on a relatively new model of therapy I plan on adopting into my practice. It is founded on the neurological evidence that the brain is far more complex than we'd ever imagined. So much so that brain scans show proof of independent "modules", or personalities, in the brain that store and process information alongside one another, as opposed to the unitary idea of one brain processing information and storing information in an assembly-line fashion, one unit at a time. It appears that there is reason to believe that the brain is composed of independent networks of information processing, more like a community of productivity rather than a single assembly line.
This means you and I have several "parts" within us, all with their own beliefs and personalities and temperaments. A highly traumatized person may in fact organize these parts in such a way that the parts manifest themselves as full-fledged people living within one person - you know this as multiple personality disorder, or dissociative identity disorder. But on a far less traumatized scale, we all have different parts of us operating within us at different times, all with different roles that have adapted to help us survive what life has thrown at us.
While I can dive deeper in and deconstruct the therapy model with you, going into detail about the types of parts and how they function, I won't potentially bore you. I share this with you to help you on your journey to becoming a better person, like I am.
Because the biggest take-away from learning about the complexity of the mind is the gift of multiplicity it brings. It means when you are depressed, you are not entirely depressed, depression does not embody *you*, and you are not helpless to depression. It means when you struggle with anxiety, you are not a person cursed with overwhelming anxiety that can take over the core of who you are, only part of you is anxious.
And here's what I needed to hear: It means when someone says or does something hurtful to you, it is not necessarily their core self reacting to you out of some deep dislike. It is most likely just a part of them that has a particular feeling at that time. Which means there is room for grace.
Which sometimes sucks to hear, honestly. It's easier to villainize the other and the victimize yourself, or vise versa. But the fact of the matter remains that God created us far more intricately and dimensionally than we could ever have comprehended. You are a universe wrapped in skin. Do not give up on yourself, or on others, over singular-minded ideas or unitary feelings. There is hope and healing in your innumerable facets.
The richness of the mind is truly the only proof I need of a masterful and loving Creator. I fall to my knees in witnessing its beauty, its resilience, its ability to survive and somehow become more beautiful in its wounds.
While you may not be swooned in the same way I am, you're human and so I know that life sucks for you sometimes, you really don't like yourself sometimes, and people hurt you sometimes. So hear me out.
There is scientific proof that there is hope for your shortcomings, and that they literally do not encompass what makes you *you*.
There are brain scans to show that there is literal room in your conscience for grace towards others. While we can't all be perfectly harmonious on this side of eternity, I encourage you to lean into the idea that you don't have the capacity to *fully* understand yourself, let alone fully understand someone else.
We're all broken, we're all trying, we're all surviving.
And we're all unbelievably gorgeous creations, worthy of wonder and awe. The more I learn, the more I am mystified and honored to be welcomed into the internal worlds of others.
Like I said, I can't think of anything else more interesting to be doing.
