it almost feels like my heart is packing its bags and moving to a new neighborhood to build a new life.
maybe i'm subconsciously going with the flow of the seasonal change...who knows.
but God is moving. and it hurts and it excites and it frees and it binds me up.
i'm facing age-old problems in my heart in entirely new ways, with the help of those who have gone before me.
everything i've learned seems to have been leading up to this; facing failure, how to completely surrender, where to put my self-worth, how to untangle the unhealthy relationships in my life, all of it. all of it to face this monster of a mountain in my life.
i may have made the biggest mistake of my life six years ago. the idea of that has haunted me since the sleepless night after i made it. i've alluded to it before and i'm doing so again. because this entire time, i've been trying to convince myself that it wasn't a mistake. i did what i needed to do. it wasn't a mistake. it wasn't a mistake.
i think i've come to a place in my heart to be able to face the question...what if i totally blew it?
what if i missed out on something that could have been absolutely wonderful?
i think i've come to a place in my soul to be able to comprehend the truth...that God can redeem anything. even a mistake detrimental to my heart.
that's just a taste of what's coming. :)
alright it's official. there's a third grad program in the running for next fall:
Seattle Pacific University - Seattle, WA
it's been recommended a few times and it has everything on paper that i'm looking for...so...it's an option. :)
stay tuned.
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