"But we'll live a long life."

If I could pick the song that gives me the most peace, hope, and resounding joy to slow-dance with Jesus to right now, it'd be this one. This is my worship:

I listen to it every night before going to sleep. It helps me start breathing deeper and letting go of the day's distractions.

This is a weird season for me.

I am more relational now then ever. Which is ironic, given that this is the first time in five years when I'm not directly leading/working for an established relational ministry (Younglife). I think that's the catalyst for this change though, because now it's my choice to be relational rather than my duty or obligation. I am also delving deeper into the Christian community outside my Younglife circles, learning even more about myself and about what the rest of the body of Christ in Phoenix has been up to while I've been in Younglife Land.

I'm getting to know some very healthy people, and that is more refreshing than I can even describe.

But it is also insightful in some bittersweet ways. Turns out that I am still a pretty young person with some growing to do. I have not graduated from some of the early-twenties social scenes and conversation topics. There are still some aspects of my life where I choose to pull the "I'm just a kid" card so that I don't have to rise to the adult level of responsibility. I have some character flaws that need some maturing and purposeful inspection. That's been a tough realization for me, but that awareness is the necessary first step to growth.

For the most part, these new friends of mine continue to feed my soul and show me different facets of Christ I've never experienced before, which makes them invaluable treasures and gifts of "good" on this earth I do not deserve. Thank you Jesus, you are too kind to me.

Here's another song that is close to my heart right now. I feel like I would sing this song to "life" about my niece Maddy, and whenever I think about how I love Maddy I am always reminded how Jesus loves me, with a fierce passion, protection, and adoration. And in an odd way, I feel like I need to feel loved like this by a man before I give him a hefty piece of my heart. I'm done with settling for less. With all that, this song makes me feel cherished and adored by Him, and gives me hope in the future for being loved like this by a Godly man:

Sleeping at Last - "Wilderness"


I think that's where I'll end things for now. God bless, lovely people.